The Obligatory Fight
by tenaciousbova
Summary: Ryder and Jaal have their first big fight. Lonely Jaal has a hard time, mostly from his perspective. Rated M for smut. Non descript female Ryder.


It hadn't been her. Truly it hadn't. And it hadn't been him either. Honestly.

The truth of it all too clear once the fog of rage began to dissipate. Almost as quickly as it sprouted up.

The truth of it was the culmination of a week's worth of more than the usual stress, and more than the usual occurence of everything that could go wrong going wrong. The truth of it was that nerves had been frayed raw and the stacking of hurt pride and restraint needed an outlet. That was a fact of life no species was exempt from. Not humans. Nor Angara. Ultimately they found an outlet in each other at the end of it all. In one big glorious terrible burst of emotion. Two beasts backed into the same corner. Pushed to their limits. Savage. Unyielding. Flurry after flurry of angry words. Bared teeth. Quivering lips. Furrowed brows. Free flowing tears.

The end of it all found Jaal gripping the edge of the kitchen counter with both hands. Sobbing and shaking. Alone. His head bowed. He wasn't going to hold back anymore. He needed to let this out. Somewhere in the back of his mind behind all of the frustration and sorrow there was a glimmer of amusement. Of all of the Milky Way traits he'd unconsciously picked up over the years most positive and some negative, trying to temper his emotions had been the worst.

A few more long moments passed. Deep breathing calmed the pound of his hurt heart. It felt like a warm balm on his soul to have finally let it all out. And with that he did the first sensible thing he'd done all week.

Call his mother.

* * *

"You're both coming here as soon as the next transport allows."

"Mother.."

"You both need to be with the family."

He took a deep breath, "…Perhaps you are right."

"Naturally."

He smiled. He missed smiles.

"Is she back yet?" Sehuna asked after a pause, "She needs consoling now too."

Jaal glanced towards the door. She'd stormed out not an hour ago, "Humans, I'm learning, sometimes need more time to themselves after a spat than Angara. And this was….not just a spat." Ryder had never run from the house before.

They hadn't had many fights in the couple years since they met. And the ones they did have were minor. But when she was down sometimes she did prefer solitude. An unusual solution to him but he obliged. This time, however, the catalyst had been fairly catastrophic.

"I think I should go bring her home."

"Good," Sehuna said decidedly, "Call me back when you do."

When the call ended, he rose and stretched. With a lighter step than before he headed out into the warm night. No matter what his family always made him feel better and seeking his mother's words had done him a world of good. He'd find Ryder. They'd go to Havaarl in the morning and pick up the pieces of their relationship that duty and stress had broken. All would be well again soon enough.

Jaal smiled.

* * *

The shuttle jostled under the mild turbulence it had been enduring for the past hour or so. Voeld winds were being particularly unforgiving today. Jaal tucked his chin into his collar. It reminded him of the atmosphere before the vault was activated by _her_.

His eyes clenched shut. The thought of _her_ making the proverbial butterflies flutter. He tried not to dwell. Not when the mission required a clear mind. Something he'd been trying to fake for the past several days.

Nothing had gone as it should.

He hadn't found her that night. When he returned home, hoping she may have been there, his heart sank when he found the place emptier than when he left it. Her things had been removed. Armor, guns, PJ's, tooth brush….a note was left though. Some of the color returned to his face when he saw that she'd been called away on an urgent Pathfinder only mission. One that required radio silence.

The following morning he too was recalled by the Resistance for their own stealth mission. No comms in or out.

It seemed that the poor luck that had plagued him as of late was persisting. A thought that became more and more prevalent as the days passed.

Jaal clutched his rifle closer to him as the shuttle rocked again. It'd been 8 days, 9 hours, and 23 minutes since he'd seen or heard her. And in the heat of a bitter argument at that. It wasn't how he wanted to remember them now. But it stood out as the most recent in his mind. And he hadn't been away from Ryder for longer than a day or two since they met.

He missed her. Any lingering bitterness over the argument had been replaced by contrition that following morning. It'd been so long since he had to sleep alone.

Jaal may have never been one to hold onto his anger for long…but sadness. Sadness stuck around.

The shuttle came to rest on the improvised landing strip. Several kilometers from the base they were tasked with gathering reconnaissance on and eventually infiltrating. It was the third they'd stopped at since the mission began. It had dawned on him that this may have been his reality had he not taken to the Pathfinder and her crew back then. Only this time around he wasn't in command. That position was handed off to the next runner up. Which was just as well. Leading a team on a high risk mission was not something his heavy heart could handle right now.

In unison he rose from his seat with the others. Listened to orders and carried them out. His stare empty. He was a soldier after all. He knew how to distance himself from the orders his body was tasked with. Methodical, professional, and aloof.

He unloaded and stored supplies. He pretended that his rebellious mind didn't conjure up the warmth of her arms wrapping around him from behind like the last time he felt this put off. Or her bark of laughter when he caught her up and held her close.

No.

Voeld's wind stung as it whipped by.

For now, this was all he could do.

* * *

2 weeks, 3 days, 46 minutes.

His fellow soldiers had long since given up on getting to know one of Efvra's best lieutenants better. In fact they debated amongst themselves which one had a worse disposition at this point.

Jaal over heard. And he didn't care.

Ryder was still off the radar and so was he. He couldn't talk to his family. He couldn't talk to his friends. And he didn't want to talk to his gossiping squad. He'd quickly isolated himself from any camaraderie. And was often finding himself alone during their down time.

Good.

Unless that someone was the woman who'd been messing about in his dreams and waking thoughts then he had no interest in their company.

Jaal blinked slowly. Hands carefully modding his rifle. Years of repetition made it more of a soothing habit.

" _You've almost got it," he encouraged, "This part here and here just needs a slight adjustment. Here, let me."_

" _No no, learn by doing right," she hefted the large Kett Rifle back towards her side of the bench, "I'm just glad you don't mind me practicing on your baby."_

" _It's not the only precious thing to me in this room," he scooted closer to her side._

" _Is that so?" Deft hands stripped the weapon back down to it's parts and focused on refitting it together correctly this time._

 _Her leg brushed his under the table._

The benefit of his mood was that his aim had never been more lethal. More precise. Lots of headshots.

* * *

Jaal carefully tucked his gear away in his locker. It'd been a long 4 weeks. Aya offered a welcoming warm breeze to chase away the chill left over from Voeld.

The mission was a success more or less and the crew had just arrived back planet side albeit very late in the evening.

He took a careful seat on the benches beside the lockers. The thin cushion atop the cold metal reminded him of when he was young and first joined the Resistance. They were just as uncomfortable then as they were now. Only then they made the nerves of a young man with hopes and aspirations of helping his people and making his mark in history feel all the more acute. He gripped the edges tightly.

As Jaal reminisced his commander clapped him on the shoulder as he passed, "Get some sleep Jaal, you've earned it."

With an absent nod Jaal took another moment to himself before hauling his exhausted self up. In the showers he set the flow to hot and took his time. He used to shy away from overly hot showers but _she_ loved them. And his desire to join her for them overrode the discomfort of the heat. Eventually he grew to prefer them.

The mission was over…So was comm silence. He could access his messages if he wanted. Find relief for his weary emotions. But just knowing they were available made an old ache surface. One he hadn't felt in a long while.

What would he find when he opened his inbox?

Several years ago he'd opened it to find a letter of well wishes, hope for the future, and a gentle rejection from the first woman he'd ever loved. An explanation that her heart could only ever belong to his brother. That she cared for Jaal deeply but could never return his affection in a way that he deserved.

And now the echoes of that memory played with the possibility that he may have to face a different sort of rejection from the woman he loved now. What if the anger of that night was more palpable than he initially surmised? What if it was the release of some long term dissatisfaction with him? What if-

" _What if the ground opened up beneath your feet and you fell forever?"_

"… _What?" he asked incredulously._

" _It's a question one of my Salarian teachers asked me before I got my biotic implant. I was so nervous," her head tilted back towards the ceiling of the Nomad, "The jist is that you never know what will happen. And the more you stress the more irrational the possibilities become."_

" _I figured….but," they both looked toward the view in front of them. Down the slope they were parked atop was one of the many large bottomless caverns on the low gravity meteor and a giant X marke in the dirt on the other side, "Did you have to pick a metaphor so - approriate?"_

 _Ryder bit her lip to hold back her childlike glee, "You're not backing out on me are you?"_

 _Jaal shifted the gear to drive and eased off the brake, a mischievous smile playing at his lips, "Not a chance."_

He blinked some stray water droplets away. He sighed feeling the tension recede as he wrapped the towel around his waist. A dubious smile eased up. This was Ryder after all. He'd have faith in her. He queued up his omni tool interface on his still damp skin.

* * *

The wheels squeaked hard as Ryder wore out the joints. She always tended to scoot her hips in and away from her desk when she was conflicted or in deep thought. Before her on the screen were a long series of letters she'd written over the past several weeks. The first was originally going to be a quick succinct apology and a promise to talk when they both had a moment together. It turned into a rambling diatribe of how stupid she'd been and how the fight meant nothing to her that ended in her weeping her eyes out at her keyboard.

The second was meant to be a final draft. Taking the important bits from the first and gathering them all into a coherent letter from one adult to another. It turned out to be neither. Just more gushing about how great he was. Which he is. And how she'd search this entire galaxy and the next twice over and never find a guy a tenth as special and noble and kind and sexy and smart and funny and relatable and delightfully eccentric as him.

By the next day she was prepared to call the first two a mulligan and compose a third letter the likes of which only a true battle hardened level headed Pathfinder could create….Also she had booze this time around….It ended up as a steamy excerpt about the first day they met and how taken with him she was as he strolled up to her. How she swooned when his cape blew in wind as he struck a confidant pose.

Reading it over sober the following morning made her laugh so hard she cried. _I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!…._ The memory of it stuck with her the rest of the day. Which made it incredibly hard to be taken seriously by her enemies when she couldn't hold a straight face. The last thing some of them saw was her standing over them with a barely constrained grin….The gallows humor of it didn't escape her either. If only she could explain to every enemy she shot that she wasn't a sadist laughing at their misery but that she'd written a particularly funny drunk letter to her boyfriend whom she was currently estranged from and the laughter was helping her mask her pain.

But she wasn't one to give up and so onward she trudged, through letter after letter. And at the end of a long emotionally draining 4 week mission she had nothing to show for her effort. Just several dozen attempts at telling the man she loved she was sorry, and an idiot, and missed him.

But she couldn't show up empty handed. She had so much to express but emotions too frayed to properly express them. Short and succinct wouldn't work but gushing wouldn't fit all she wanted to say into one letter…..

She scrolled through the failed attempts. Some more comical than others. Some more somber and brooding. Desire for him rang clear through all of them.

Then an idea occurred. And a hesitant smile quirked, "Ok….Let's find a path."

A large file was sent in bulk. Every single letter, dated and signed with love.

* * *

Sehuna wrapped her up in a tight hug. Ryder returned it albeit with more than a little guilt.

"It's so good to see you," Sehuna pulled back holding Ryder at arm's length to give her a quick once over, "You're skinnier. Have you been eating properly?"

"Heh. That might have something to do with the rations they fed us during the mission," Ryder offered patting her stomach.

"Don't worry, we're having a cook out. One of those barbecues' Liam mentioned with some Earth cuisine ready for you and the rest you can take back as leftovers for later."

Sehuna was always so compassionate. Even now despite Ryder's current rocky relationship with her son.

"Thank you," she had the good grace to look away bashfully, "….Have you heard from Jaal?" She tried to focus on the other shuttles departing and arriving at the medium sized Havaarl port. In her periphery she could see Sehuna giving her an indulgent look.

"Evfra's told me he's currently in transport from Voeld to Aya. His mission just concluded a few hours ago."

"Oh…that's," Ryder rubbed her arm looking at her feet…

"Relax. We'll have supper tonight. Jaal will arrive by morning and we'll sort all this together. Everything will work out, I promise."

Ryder took a deep breath. Sehuna could calm a distraught thresher maw if she were so inclined and Ryder returned her smile, "Thank you."

Sehuna touched her shoulder encouragingly, "Let's go home."

* * *

Ryder felt the haze of sleep begin to fade at the slight dip in the bed. She recalled falling into a heavy slumber after Sehuna made sure she had a hardy helping at dinner. The fact that it was Jaal's old bed smelling of him and comfort sent her off into a restful if a tad bit lonely sleep all the sooner.

As her mind cleared she registered that it was early morning by the light streaming through the shutters. She grumbled sleepily and turned her head towards her new bed mate behind her. A deep familiar rumble responded and a strong familiar arm swept her closer.

Tired eyes opened to be greeted by the face of her long lost lover gazing at her in sultry adoration.

They held each others stare for a moment. No words were needed as their lips found one another like they always did, no hesitation. His hand cupped her face, guiding her as he deepened the kiss. It conveyed all the remorse, longing, and passion they knew they still felt. That they would always feel. No doubts, no anger. Just them.

When she felt the familiar blunt poke of his erection against her bottom she moaned softly and pushed her pelvis back against him. His hand left her face in favor of her thigh lifting it in the air easily. Her t-shirt bunched at her hip as it rose. He thrust against her moist labia a few times wetting his shaft. Ryder shifted slightly and reached down them to guide him inside. Simple motions they did so often over the years that now felt like the most significant thing in the world. Not a second after his tip had breached her did he thrust up with enough force to fill her almost completely.

Ryder tore her lips away letting a hiss rush out. She blushed to her ears hearing Jaal's deep groan. Another breath and he was giving her shallow thrusts in drawing out tiny gasps from her with each one. His mouth found her neck, rubbing his soft lips up and down the arch.

Their love making waffled between hard and slow to soft and quick stretching it out for as long as they could. Jaal brought her to the brink first, followed by a second, climbing even to a third before he too succumbed to the hushed sounds of her spiraling ecstasy. All the while whispering praise and promises in her ear. His body tensed when his hit him, shooting hot ropes as deep into her as he could. Her inner walls tightened even more, milking him of all he had.

As he came down he gave her a few spare thrusts. He let her thigh lower slowly but let himself stay nestled inside her. The weight of her thighs pressing together on the base of his shaft secured their joined position.

Ryder sighed happily turning her head back to him once more for a long sleepy kiss.

They made it. They persevered. They reunited. There would be a lot to discuss later, but for now the two were content to find comfort in the warmth shared between them.


End file.
